urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikmonkey mikmonkey mikmonkey 2004-07-31T03:45:39Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikmonkey:8700 2004-07-31T03:45:39Z 2004-07-31T03:45:39Z god damn i hate englewood. its 100% old people. all i do is carve offensive sentences into the sand to watch the elderly have heart attacks. im missing derrons get together for this shit? i can be hanging out with the gang, Alicia, Zelban, Derron, Beer, Kobe, everyone.. but noooo im stuck with the god damn parents who bitch more than talk. and jesus tap dancing christ do they talk. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikmonkey:8218 2004-07-29T12:26:26Z 2004-07-29T12:26:26Z Darn that song from Simply Red, Sunrise, its stuck in my head and i cant get it out!!!!!! "should be me, I dont know if its even in your mind at all" GRRRR!!! its a great freaking song, but i never thought i would like it. Alicia, you have great taste in music :) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikmonkey:2788 2004-06-11T03:05:56Z 2004-06-11T03:05:56Z Oh why cant I be what you need <br />a new improved version of me <br />but i'm nothing so good <br />no i'm nothing <br />just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs<br />of violence of love and of sorrow <br />i beg for just one more tomorrow <br />where you hold me down fold me in <br />deep deep deep in the heart of your sins <br /><br />I break in two over you <br />I break in two <br />And each piece of me dies <br />And only you can give the breath of life <br />But you dont see me, you dont... <br /><br />here i'm in between darkness and light <br />bleached and blinded by these nights <br />where im tossing and tortured til dawn <br />by you, visions of you then youre gone <br />the shock lifts the red from my face <br />when i hear someone's taking my place <br />how could love be so thoughtless, so cruel <br />when all, all that i did was for you <br /><br />i break in two over you <br />i break in two <br />and each piece of me dies <br />and only you can give the breath of life <br />but you dont see me you dont.. <br /><br />i break in two over you <br />i break in two <br />and each piece of me dies <br />and only you can give the breath of life <br />but you dont see me you don't... <br /><br />i break in two over you <br />i break in two over you, over you <br />i break in two <br />i would break in two for you <br />now you see me <br />now you don't <br />now you need me <br />now you don't <br /><br /><br />From Autumn to Ashes, Autumns Monlogue. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikmonkey:2400 2004-06-11T02:05:23Z 2004-06-11T02:05:23Z This is to Lacy, thank you so much! i love how the journal looks now, your my hero! I will try to make it up to you on friday. Once again, thank you Lacy, your the best. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikmonkey:2176 2004-06-10T23:59:43Z 2004-06-10T23:59:43Z Every day someone throws at me another feeling, giving me highs and lows that generally only a drug addict ever gets the pleasure to experience. My soul is being torn apart by conflicting forces, one pulling me towards one way, the other dragging me down the abyss. Its becoming an empty spiral of hate and misery, where animosity is the dish that is always served. I have taken my fair share of lashes from the world, and with each lash i grin in order not to give this incarnation of hell some pleasure. Each Scar left on my body is a monument to my pain, and a symbol of my victory over my advesaries. I will fight to keep this candle lit, regardless of the pain that i must endure. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikmonkey:1982 2004-06-10T03:13:59Z 2004-06-10T03:13:59Z Take my advice on this, dont make love to a cop car, trust me, you will regret it the next day. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikmonkey:1643 2004-06-10T01:33:16Z 2004-06-10T01:33:16Z Work sucks. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikmonkey:1313 2004-06-09T03:57:06Z 2004-06-09T03:57:06Z Life is weighing down on me, killing me inside<br />Something I could never be will guide me to the new<br /> Light<br /> Frustrated<br /> Sedated<br /> I pray to myself urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikmonkey:1092 2004-06-09T03:43:02Z 2004-06-09T03:43:02Z Work sucked worse than a 5 dollar hooker after you tip her a 20. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikmonkey:869 2004-06-08T17:27:51Z 2004-06-08T17:27:51Z well, i did not get to see Saved today, so im a little disapointed. i did get to spend some time with my ex, which i loved. At one point i got lost looking into her eyes, i wonder how long i just starred. I would of given anything at that moment to be able to give her a kiss.<br />Im slowly coming the conclusion that i am constantly being judged by the people that mean the most to me. Sometimes my friends can be very accepting and caring, and other times they can rip my heart out. I just wish people could just accept me the same way i accept them.<br />At the office today, i was poking Corinne for the fun of it, when all of a sudden she hurt her shoulder. i felt so incredibly bad about. i just wanted to hold her and tell her im sorry for the rest of my life. I am generally not like that with people, but Corinne is diffrent. Along time ago she asked me in my car if i could ever physically hurt her, and of course i said no. But, that means that idea is in her head, and that i give the impression of having no control over my anger. i would kill myself before i ever layed a mark on her. Damn my emotions.. i never used to care, now i suddenly i would give my life for another.. i guess i really do love her, to bad im only a friend. and not even a good friend at that. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikmonkey:554 2004-06-08T03:59:53Z 2004-06-08T03:59:53Z Well, today was quite uneventful. my parents got back from Mexico so no more fun for me. I was supposed to see Corinne this morning, so i woke up stupidly early but she slept in and dident tell me. I did my usual after that, played on the computer, Forum Whored, and watched the scifi miniseries "5 Days Before Midnight". I was supposed to go to the porn shop with Corinne and Catherine, but i couldent leave the house since it was to late, so i feel really bad that i disapointed them. i always feel that im just a disapointment to my friends, especially Corinne. She meant the world to me and i still just let her down over and over. Well, she seems to be happier now without me, so im glad for her. Staring into her eyes still feels like the walls around me are coming apart and i am truly free. I would give up my soul just to hear her say she loved me one last time. Sorry, seems like i have gone into a late night rant. tommrow i will be seeing Saved with Corinne. This is mike, signing off. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikmonkey:341 2004-06-07T16:11:21Z 2004-06-07T16:11:21Z Hello anyone who may be reading this, who will probably just be me or one of my split personalities. I just wanted to say hello and see if i have the brainpower to figure this site out. pray for me.